(This email is from 2/3....Sorry for my (Mom) delay in posting it!) Hey everyone! We went to the Temple today and don't have a lot of time to email. But I really wanted to get a blog email out because this week has been life changing. I don't want to make this a big deal at all, but I have struggled with really bad anxiety throughout my mission so far. The beginning of this past week was no worse than usual but it was there and it was a struggle. I keep debating if this is something I'm actually supposed to be doing or if I need to go home. (Side note....Suzie has been very brave and has been working really hard on a very difficult new development of anxiety, right at the same age as I was when I started really having problems with the same thing. I can't even imagine all that she has had to face away from home and family. I am so very grateful for a wonderful President and especially his wife! They have helped tremendously! If you haven't experienced this debilitating disorder, you really have no idea the complete pain it causes. It really does totally stop you in your tracks.)
Church this Sunday was the most spiritual experience I think I've ever had at church. Testimony meeting was actually really amazing! B relapsed again this past weekend again. He showed up at church a little hung over and just discouraged. He thought we were just going to be mad at him for messing up twice already. He was ready to just close this chapter in his life. Instead, after Sacrament Meeting we talked with him and two of his friends. We just asked him what happened then decided to give him a blessing. He said it wouldn't work because the last blessing we gave the 1st time it happened obviously didn't work. Satan wants us to think that it's all impossible. That we're unworthy. That no one else messes up and no one will accept us. Instead we explained that the priesthood is the power of God, and with faith that power can perform miracles. We went into a smaller classroom and gave him a blessing of healing. It was a very loving experience. Yesterday we met with him to follow up. He was in tears saying that never in his life was he in a room with people who were only focused on him and to help him, especially when he had messed up so badly. We were all in tears. We explained that even if it happened again this weekend, which it may in the future, we would be there again in that same classroom during sunday school. You're not limited to the number of times you're allowed to mess up before you're cut off from the Atonement.
We also met with our good friend J. He's a member who was a convert to the church. He was less active for a long time and has recently come back. He went bowling with us last week and takes us out for food all the time. He always is so funny and positive but we can tell when there's something up with him but he won't tell us. I think because we're Sister Missionaries, he's uncomfortable talking about it with us. Luckily our zone leaders live close to him. They ran into him the other day coming out of his apartment. They talked for a bit and then he just asked them for a blessing. He has a lot of temptation and struggles. We don't know what he did but it was such a huge blessing that they were able to talk with him and help him. We had dinner with him last night and just talked it through. We set a game plan for him to get him to the temple. It was a little thing but these experiences have really made me appreciate the Priesthood. It is so important to me.
Last night while we were at dinner one of the women we see texted us and said she was in the ER. She is in our Zone leader's ward. She's investigating the church, so we don't actually teach her but we go over there and help her a lot because the Zone leaders can't go inside alone with her. There's not any male figures and her boys are under 18. (Those are mission rules that she is following) She's going chemo therapy right now. Usually we help her organize and relieve stress but lately we've been teaching her and having really spiritual experiences. Anyway, after she texted us, J, who we were at dinner with, immediately offered to follow us there and help out. So we ended up driving through some pretty sketchy fog, all the way downtown to the ER. Can I just say that ER's in the downtown of any city are pretty hard core. There are just some things you can't unsee. We got there, they would only let 2 people in at a time, so Hermana Horton and I went back and J waited in the waiting room for like an hour. Before going in Hermana just turned to me and we said a quick prayer in the corner. We got pretty lost trying to find her room. There were police there, lots of bloody teens and elderly people. It was just madness. It was extremely overwhelming, but for some reason I felt pretty peaceful. Through everything the happened over the weekend up to this point it all hit me that these people are going through extremely difficult things. The Lord has sent ME here specifically to help them see that, not only that this is the true Gospel, but someone is loving them unconditionally. There is such a bright light at the end of the tunnel. It's kind of a feeling that I can't explain but there's just so much love and peace. I know my anxiety isn't going to end, but there is a feeling I can hold onto for the rest of my life. There is so much support. J was willing to just follow us to the downtown ER to wait in the waiting room.
Anyway we got into Sister T's room. We just shut the door and just talked with her like daughters. She's pretty happy-go-lucky. The elders already went down and gave her a blessing but besides that we were the only ones to visit. Her own family didn't see her. She's going to be okay! But she just needs support. That's sometimes all this Gospel comes down to is support.
There was a lot of other crazy stuff that happened but these were the big things.
Sorry this is all over the place, I'm really bad expressing myself, but Missions are amazing! I love this Gospel so much! I love being a missionary! Just know that Heavely Father is in the details of all of our lives because he Loves us that much. I can testify that that is true. I love you all! Thank you so so much for all of the love and support!
Sister P
